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This programme contains
strong language and some
scenes of a sexual nature.

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00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,320
CONOR NARRATES: Things have been
a little tense recently.

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00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,040
Everybody seems to be
getting on somebody's tits.

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I was annoyed with Linda.
Fuck's sake!

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<font color="
Moron!

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Barry was annoyed with Jock.
Fuckers! Bastards!

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Jock was annoyed with Barry.
Dickhead.

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And me mum was annoyed with me,
Jock and Barry.

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Shut up!

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Long, dickhead, gowl!
<font color="

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And with the baby getting so close,
it's fair to say that Siobhan

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was getting a little bit bothered
by it all.

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My baby will be born in a few weeks

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and nobody can fucking
get the fuck on!

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So Orla had an idea.

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<font color="
if we all went away.

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Oh. Yeah...i-it would be.

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For a weekend or something.
I'd like that.

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Like a big family.

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Well...that's what we're
going to be, I suppose. Yes.

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<font color="
Me too.

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SHE LAUGHS

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And so we were off to
Kerry for the weekend,

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to show Siobhan we can all get along
because at the end of the day,

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all mams need our support.

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Mam, you've got to lift with your
<font color="

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Do you think you'll decide
to give me a fucking hand
at any stage, like?

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Good morning, Mairead!

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Love what you've done with your
herbaceous borders there.

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What's that that you've planted?

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<font color="
Beautiful.

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Story. How's it going?

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So, thinking of a couple of names
again last night.

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So, what about Beyonce?

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We might as well be calling
our baby Jesus or something.

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<font color="
a bit too old? She a bit dated?

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That's a bit dated.
Let's hit the road, shall we?

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The sooner we get there,
the sooner it's over.

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You do one fucking thing
to ruin this trip... Yeah.

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<font color="

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when we get home, there'll be
fucking war, OK?

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Yeah. OK? Not a thing.
Don't you worry about it.

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Keep smiling. Yeah.
Keep smiling. Don't worry.

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<font color="
I'll smile, so I won't stop smiling.

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Good. Good.

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All right, Barry? Orla, hi. Hiya,
Jock. How are you getting on? Good.

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Looking forward to it? Catch you
<font color="
Catch you in a bit. Can't wait.

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Shotgun! Looking forward to
spending some time with Linda?

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HE SCOFFS

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Fuck, no.

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Why would I?
I don't care about Linda.

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<font color="
went on a date with Eoin O'Hanlon.

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No, I'm fucking not! All right.
I didn't even remember that!

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Because I was too busy not
thinking about Linda. All right.

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You know, the countryside's
<font color="

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I defy any woman to look at
the harshest knob

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and not feel
a stirring in the heart.

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Ain't that right, Mairead?

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Margaret!

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It is right, though, isn't it?
It's right.

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<font color="
will you? I can't find the
fucking keys. Yeah, typical.

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Ruining it before we even
fucking get going!

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ENGINE STARTS

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CONOR: Jock's mam gave birth to him

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<font color="
centre, so as a result, every time

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Siobhan does a hiccup, he thinks
she's going to pop the baby out.

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What are they pulling over for?
I don't fucking know why.

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Do you think she's all right?

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What's up?! What's up?!
<font color="

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No, I just need a piss.

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Found some tissues, love.

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I'll help you wipe yourself,
all right?

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Relax. Relax. Just, er...
she needs to go for a piss.

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When I was younger,
I used to have difficulty acting

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<font color="
I've fucking nailed it.

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Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine,
why? Just asking. I'm good.

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I'm really good. I bet you are. Why?

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<font color="
Eoin O'Hanlon the other day.

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Sort of.

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We just went to McDonald's, like.

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I hope you two
are very happy together.

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Genuinely.

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SHOES SQUEAK

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I was actually... I was on a date
<font color="

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Yeah, it was. It was...great.

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She lives, she's from down...
Germany, so...

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you wouldn't know her, like.
What's her name?

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Her name? Yeah.

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Shit! Fuck!

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<font color="

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Hey, Jock. It's all right.

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Do you come around here often,
would you?

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Just on holidays.

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I like the same holiday every year,
so... Same holiday every year? Hm?

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<font color="
Same holiday every year. Yeah?

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What are they doing over there?

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Those lads.

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My, oh, my, that takes me back.

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BARRY LAUGHS

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They're county trimming.

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What? Those Kerry boys there,
<font color="

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sign a little bit down the road and
stealing a bit of Cork.

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You might not think it to look at me
now, but I once stole...

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Argh! Drop that sign, you pricks!
Nobody fucks with my county!

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<font color="
you bastard! Nice one, dickhead!

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Chris has got over a foreskin
infection! Don't tell him that!

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See you later, Barry.

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That's not how you do
county trimming.

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<font color="

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If you really want to know,
I had piss running down my legs

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and mum had to wipe.
Fucking hell, Barry, you had to ask.

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Barry's actually killer.

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Hurry the fuck up! We're going to
teach those Cork langers a lesson.

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<font color="

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and Kerry has gone back
as far as caveman days.

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You'd think by now Kerry people
would've given up

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and just admit that us Cork
people are better than them.

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Hold back, hold back.

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We don't want them to know
<font color="

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Be careful with that now!

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This cottage has been generously
lent to us by Brendan Cooley

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and those statues are his pride
and joy. Who's Brendan Cooley?

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Brendan Cooley is chair of the
<font color="

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Remember, my school? A man I not
only know in a professional capacity

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but I'm proud to say is
a close personal friend,

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so please, treat this house
as you would your own.

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Or actually, better.

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<font color="

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Yeah, treat it right.
How are you, babe?

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Rrr!

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Those fucking Cork cocks will wish
they never came to Kerry.

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JOCK LAUGHS
Oh, this is fucking brilliant.

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Look at the size
of this clock.

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<font color="

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like the fucking King of England
or something.

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Well, this is gorgeous!

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Barry, Orla, I just want to say
you've organised the whole thing,

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you should take the master suite.

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Siobhan and I will be happy enough
<font color="

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I think it's best if Siobhan shares
with Linda, don't you? No.

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Jock, why don't you take the sofa?
Yeah.

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And don't you even try anything,

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you oversexed, under-aged
little bollocks!

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<font color="
huge, up every hour on the hour.

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About to burst.

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Checkmate.

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Barry. What are you doing?

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Just doing a quick inventory
of the cutlery and plates.

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Big group, you know. These things
<font color="

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I've been trusted with an important
man's spoons, Margaret.

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I take that responsibility
seriously. You must...

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let me know how much I owe you for
all of these...

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<font color="
I didn't know you were buying.

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Oh, no, no. You're grand.
Don't worry about it.

155
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No, I-I can afford to pay.

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You certainly have enough
money for cigarettes.

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We might be hard up
some of the time,

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<font color="
Jock.

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This bone's still got chicken on it.

160
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No, no. I realise that.
I didn't mean...

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No, no, no, just let me know
the cost.

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140 euros.

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That's a lovely gesture, Orla,
<font color="

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Appreciate that.

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Conor, come in, Conor.

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If you're near the kitchen there,
will you get me a can of Tanora,
please?

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Kkkrrr! Roger that. Kkkrrr!

168
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What the fuck is that? It's a
<font color="

169
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That's not a baby monitor. What do
you mean it's not a baby monitor?

170
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Look at it. Definitely small
and pink.

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It's a baby monitor.
How does it work?

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I push the button, say,
<font color="

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And then the baby picks it up
and goes, "Yes."

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That's a kid's walkie-talkie.

175
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It's Olga.

176
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What?

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Olga.

178
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,080
That's the...the German girl
I was talking about.

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I shifted her, she thought it was
<font color="

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Said it was delicious.

181
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Is that what she said in German
to you?

182
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,960
What did she exactly say?

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Shit! Fuck!

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CLOTHES TEARING

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Fuck! Shit!

186
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For fuck's sake.

187
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I already told you, there's
<font color="

188
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,680
Who do you need to be messaging
anyway? We're on holiday.

189
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,960
Texting Conor? Conor?

190
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,840
He's in the same building.

191
00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,360
Linda, Orla, come into the kitchen,
will you?

192
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,680
Come on, please.
<font color="

193
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:08,840
Now, those of you who've had the
pleasure of being on holiday with me

194
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,920
before may have an inkling as to
what's coming next. Oh, no.

195
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,960
That's right.
I've done an itinerary. Dad, no.

196
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,480
<font color="
on these spreadsheets,

197
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,280
which means maximum fun.
The holiday starts now.

198
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,800
THEY SCREAM

199
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,200
What the fuck was that?!
Someone threw a rock. What?

200
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,640
Why is no-one checking the
<font color="
all right? Is the baby OK?

201
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,320
No, she's got you as a father.
Barry!

202
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,800
It's the lads from the border. The
ones pissing about with the sign.

203
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,200
HE WHIMPERS

204
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,760
Are you OK? I'm all right.
<font color="

205
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,240
Some people just don't learn,
do they?

206
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,440
Well, if it's a fight they want,
it's a fight they're going to get.

207
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:57,040
Sit down! You've done enough
already. Chucking stones at people.

208
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,840
This is your fault.
I'll deal with it now.

209
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,240
<font color="

210
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,600
Right. Come out.
Come on, I know you're there.

211
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,720
I'm sorry to inform you boys
but I'm a principal

212
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,960
and when you mess with one
principal, you mess with us all.

213
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,760
There's a WhatsApp group,
did you know that?

214
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:33,080
<font color="
So, where do you boys go, then?

215
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,160
St Brendan's? St Mary's?

216
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,120
Yeah, that would be the catchment
area, wouldn't it?

217
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:44,320
Tell you what, do say hello to
Mr Kennedy for me on Monday morning.

218
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,440
Or maybe I should call him myself.
<font color="

219
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,800
We'll have no more trouble now.
Consider that dealt with.

220
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,640
You know, a lot of these boys don't
have father figures in the home.

221
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,920
GLASS SHATTERING

222
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,920
Oh, for fuck's sake.

223
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,720
No, I'm stressed and when I'm
<font color="

224
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,240
You're stressed? You don't have to
explain all this to Brendan Cooley.

225
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,760
That's it. Nobody stresses out
my foetus. Sit down.

226
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,840
Don't you see that's what they want?

227
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,080
Try and at least act like you've
<font color="

228
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,920
What do you suggest we do? Don't
even dignify them with a response.

229
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:27,640
What? Yeah. Sometimes the best
revenge is to live well.

230
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,880
In our case, why don't we tuck into
<font color="

231
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,760
Amen.
ELECTRICAL FIZZING

232
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,160
ALARM BEEPS

233
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,160
The little bastards!

234
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,840
Did they just cut the power?
Well, that's dinner fucked!

235
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,360
Can we not just use the microwave?
Yeah, no problem, yeah.

236
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,200
<font color="
you dickhead. Barry!

237
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,480
Right. They've crossed a line now.

238
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,920
This is a matter for the guards.

239
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,880
Will someone turn off
the fucking alarm?

240
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,600
PHONE LINE BEEPS

241
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,160
Dammit! Did they cut
<font color="

242
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,720
Yes. They've cut the phone line.

243
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,560
They're really going for it,
aren't they?

244
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,080
GLASS SHATTERING

245
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,080
Fuck this.

246
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,640
I'll get to the bottom of this!

247
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,200
Jesus Christ!

248
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,440
All right. Now listen.
<font color="

249
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:29,760
But now I've come to talk and
listen. Now you've made your point.

250
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:34,160
What is it that you want?
Come on, I know you can hear me.

251
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,400
What do you want?
Show us your dick!

252
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,000
OK, come on.

253
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,720
I'm sure that's not what you want.
<font color="

254
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,200
I like a laugh
as much as the next person,

255
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,720
but let's be serious now, OK?

256
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,360
Get your cock and balls out.
Get your little Mickey out.

257
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,160
MAIREAD SNIGGERS

258
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,160
Right.

259
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:58,720
Clearly you don't want to be
<font color="

260
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,160
HE SCREAMS

261
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,760
LAUGHTER

262
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,120
Absolutely pathetic.

263
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,840
LAUGHTER

264
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,000
I assume you heard all that,
did you?

265
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,120
I really don't know
what the big deal is, Barry.

266
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,000
Can you not just give them
<font color="

267
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,080
so that we can all
get on with our holiday?

268
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,520
I'm a principal.

269
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,760
I'm not going to go
waving my willy around

270
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,480
so you can enjoy the Ring of Kerry.

271
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,880
No, no, no, Barry, I agree with you.

272
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,160
You can't negotiate with terrorists.

273
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,000
<font color="
to want to see your balls.

274
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,120
Show them your balls, they're going
to want to see your hole.

275
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,160
And then what? Well, they want
to bend you over and start...

276
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,320
Yeah, yeah, we get it.
You see, the thing is, Barry,

277
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,640
<font color="

278
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,240
but when it comes to the way of
the street, you're in...

279
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,040
What's that class called where
me and Con get to do the pictures?

280
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,440
Remedial. Remedial.

281
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,560
When it comes to the way of
the streets, Barry,

282
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,120
<font color="

283
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,400
Me and Con will take it
from here on out.

284
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,720
No, you won't!

285
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,360
Oh, yeah, because you handled
it so brilliantly.

286
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,640
Like, no offence, but they might
want to talk to someone

287
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,840
their own age.

288
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,960
<font color="

289
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,240
We're not stupid.

290
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,880
We're not going to do anything
to inflame this situation.

291
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,600
Right, you bunch of
cousin fuckers,

292
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,720
if it's a fight ye want,
it's a fight you're going to get.

293
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,600
This rock has your name on it, boys.

294
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,160
<font color="

295
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,680
Come on, please leave.

296
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,200
You fucking bastards!

297
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,000
THEY YELL

298
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,520
Man down!

299
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,280
Man down, fuck!

300
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,920
Oh, my God.

301
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,360
Conor? Conor, can you hear me?

302
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,640
Conor?
<font color="

303
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,360
Linda? He's coming round.

304
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,520
Connor? Beautiful?

305
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,040
Conor.

306
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,160
You all right?

307
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,480
VOICEOVER: When you go through
a near-death experience

308
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,000
like I just did,
<font color="

309
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,920
on what's important in your life.

310
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,520
We've all the time in the world.

311
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,200
It's over.

312
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,640
Didn't even hurt.
I don't fucking care.

313
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,400
What are we going to do now, then?

314
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,680
Oh, I've an idea, actually, Orla.

315
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,400
<font color="
Oh, Christ, here we go. Sh.

316
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,960
..he said that when they didn't
have weapons, they'd do, like,

317
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,600
a shit in their hands.

318
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,560
What, there must be, like,
eight of us here?

319
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,480
If we all did one,
<font color="

320
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,160
and throw it at the lads.

321
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,320
That's surely going to dampen
their spirits, isn't it?

322
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,480
Jock, I think even
if that did work,

323
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,120
we're not going to feel like
having a family holiday afterwards.

324
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,920
<font color="

325
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,160
The only thing we can do.

326
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:57,720
We wait.

327
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,200
Stop.

328
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,880
Am I the only one
still playing Monopoly?

329
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,840
For God's sake, Orla,
this is a hostage situation.

330
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,520
He always gets like that when
<font color="

331
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,520
How much longer
is this going to go on for?

332
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,480
Don't worry,
they'll break soon enough.

333
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,960
There's a load of them
out there right now.

334
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,240
WATER SPILLS

335
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,520
They've got a campfire going,
<font color="

336
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,640
Oh...

337
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,240
They're fucking barbecuing sausages.
SHE EXHALES

338
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,520
I know, right?

339
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,000
Barbecue's my favourite
type of dinner as well.

340
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,400
I think my waters just broke.

341
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,480
Oh! Oh, shit!

342
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,640
<font color="
What does that mean? Fuck.

343
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,640
Jock? Babe, babe, babe, babe,
just breathe.

344
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,400
Barry, we have to get her out of
here. I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

345
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,200
<font color="
a flash of your lad,

346
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,600
this would have been over hours ago.

347
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,040
And if you instilled a bit of
discipline into your household,

348
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,920
we wouldn't be in this
situation to begin with!

349
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,200
SHE LAUGHS

350
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,320
Oh, now I see it,
<font color="

351
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,080
I saw you counting
the fucking spoons earlier.

352
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,360
For fuck sake, Mairead,

353
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,640
will you ever get that chip
off your fucking shoulder?

354
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,720
Will you get the rod out of
your fucking hole?

355
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,120
Do you see what happens, Orla?

356
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,200
<font color="
to these people?

357
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,880
These people?!

358
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,280
Are you fucking kidding me?

359
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,480
She's from our neighbourhood,
unless you forgot.

360
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,320
Your family are from the fucking...

361
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:36,640
THEY YELL OVER EACH OTHER

362
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,600
You fucking bitch, you...

363
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,160
<font color="

364
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,040
SIOBHAN PANTS

365
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,400
For fuck sake,
I'm about to have a baby!

366
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,280
I'm fucking scared to death.

367
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,800
And none of you can get on
for two fucking seconds.

368
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,120
I'm sorry, love.

369
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,200
We're all a bit hyper.

370
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,240
SHE EXHALES

371
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,400
<font color="
to get us out of here.

372
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,160
And it doesn't involve shitting.

373
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,040
Those fucking Cork lots
are up to something.

374
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,920
What the fuck are they doing?
Come on, boys, quick.

375
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,840
They're on the move, look,
they're on the move!

376
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,000
<font color="
give us your worst!

377
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
THEY YELL

378
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,920
Bet you can't hit us! Agh!

379
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,760
Fucking pricks!
Come on, you langers!

380
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,400
SIOB GROANS

381
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,400
Come on.

382
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,120
YELLING

383
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:31,440
Is that all you've got?

384
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,320
<font color="
don't have much fire in the tank!

385
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,560
He's talking about your bollocks.
Come on, boys!

386
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,160
Keep your head down.
Keep your head down.

387
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,360
Pricks!

388
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,800
Look at me, Con!
We'll get through this.

389
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,920
<font color="
You'll get through this!

390
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,000
Come on.

391
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,000
YELLING

392
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,400
Go to my car, go to my car!

393
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,360
Lads, come on!

394
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:53,960
They're running out of stones.

395
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,000
They're not running out
of fucking stones,

396
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,680
it's a pebble driveway!

397
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,120
<font color="
Barry, come on!

398
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,600
I'm trying! Jesus Christ.

399
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,960
Just start the fucking car, Barry!

400
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,000
SHE WAILS
ENGINE STARTS

401
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,920
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

402
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,160
I can't even think about this now,
<font color="

403
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,480
Just drive the fucking car,
Barry, will you?

404
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,240
Con, Jock, get in!

405
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,160
Retreat, retreat!

406
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,200
Quick, now!

407
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,280
THEY YELL

408
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,800
Go on, boys!

409
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,800
Come on!

410
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,800
SHE BEEPS HORN

411
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,680
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

412
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,240
<font color="

413
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,560
Oh, I'm fine, too.

414
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,640
Go! Right. Come on!

415
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,600
Yeah, I know, it's grand,
don't worry.

416
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,960
SHE BREATHES DEEPLY

417
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,400
Siobhan Walsh? Yeah.

418
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,880
<font color="
if you'd like to come with me. OK.

419
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,520
No, just Jock.

420
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,680
But sweetheart... No, Mum.

421
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,360
That's what I want.

422
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,520
You'll have to put these on. Right.

423
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,400
All right? Here, let me take your...

424
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,320
<font color="

425
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:36,880
Listen...

426
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,240
..I'm sorry about all the...

427
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,840
..stuff.

428
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,840
Aw, well, And...

429
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,160
I should be apologising
to the two of you, really.

430
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,960
Do you think she's
all right in there?

431
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,880
<font color="

432
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,160
She's got Jock with her.

433
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,560
HE FARTS

434
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,560
Sorry.

435
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,560
I'm a bit nervous,
I'm doing those farts

436
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,360
where you're not totally sure,
that's...

437
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,240
That's all they are.

438
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,240
SHE LAUGHS

439
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,400
SHE GROANS

440
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,800
<font color="
that nurses and doctors

441
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,040
have a reputation for being horny,
with everyone

442
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,680
showing their dicks and their
fannies to them all the time.

443
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,920
I guess a bit of that hospital
horniness must have

444
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,440
<font color="

445
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:23,720
LINDA: There it is.

446
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,800
GRUNTING

447
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:53,160
GRUNTING GETS LOUDER

448
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,680
Fuck off!

449
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,400
We're having sex, if you hadn't
noticed, show us a bit of respect!

450
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,320
Eh, where were we?

451
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,760
Here...

452
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,320
<font color="

453
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,760


454
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,840


455
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,520
THEY GRUNT

456
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,600


457
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,960


458
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,320
GRUNTING

459
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:39,480


460
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,800


461
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,200
<font color="

462
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:48,240

in my embrace

463
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,520


464
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,760


465
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,120


466
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:01,040
Wait.


467
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,360
The condom's still on.

468
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,720
And it's not broken.

469
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,320
<font color="
within your clutch.

470
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,520
I love you. I love you, too.

471
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,440
Oh, now, that's a baby.

472
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,000
Best baby ever.

473
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,040
How are you, boy,
are you all right? You good?

474
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,600
That was stressful, but, I'm OK now.

475
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,560
<font color="
was it? That's true.

476
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,320
Do you know what you're going
to call her?

477
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,320
We couldn't decide what star
to name her after, so...

478
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,480
..we settled on... Star.

479
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,280
BABY GRIZZLES

480
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,480
<font color="

481
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,200
Yeah.

482
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,480
Come on, now, let's get a picture
of us all with the baby.

483
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,400
Jock, what the fuck?
What?!

484
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,040
You're supposed to be wearing
your scrubs over your clothes.

485
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,640
What? Nobody told me.

486
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,880
THEY LAUGH

487
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,600
<font color="

488
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,960
VOICEOVER: Photos are great,
because people rarely take them

489
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,960
when everyone is looking pissed off.

490
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,440
And human memories
aren't that good... Ready?

491
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,640
CAMERA CLICKS

492
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,480
..so when you look back
<font color="

493
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,880
all you can remember
are the happy times.